Time For a Break

I'm taking a break from blogger. Things have gotten so heated that I can't speak my mind freely without drama occurring. Once things cool down I may come back and blog once again. I have other blogs but I think it's better if I don't share them publicly on facebook. I'm sorry that I can't keep posting but I promise I'll be back.

Whatever

I'm so over it.

:)

Lightning

"Don't look back cause were all like lightning, here today then were gone like lightning. Light up the sky and live for something. Everyone lives only few become lightning."

Solution

I can honestly say that there hasn't been any more drama in my life. For those of you who actually know what happened, you know that I'm going to stand up for myself and not take any more crap from anyone. I figure I've come this far and lost people I thought I cared about that why not let it be known to everyone that you can't mess with me. Usually I let most things slide but since I've been hurt so much I think I need to change how I deal with people. The last drama I dealt with changed me. I no longer want to give second chances to just anyone. I've given out so many chances that it no longer means anything to people. They figure I'll eventually come back and give them another chance. I know this is not the best decision I've made but it's something that I need to do. It may lose me friends, and it may cause me more pain but it's the only solution I can think of. And for those people who have hurt me, I'm still waiting for an apology.

Love Like Woe

Shoot for the Stars

"You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars regardless of who you are."

Places I Want To Visit

These are the top 10 places I want to visit in my life.

1. Italy
2. Greece
3. Paris
4. Milan
5. New York City
6. Tokyo
7. Switzerland
8. UK
9. Ireland
10. Belgium

Rocketeer

This by far is the best acoustic version of rocketeer.

Silence vs. Drama

I think not talking to someone is the worst kind of punishment. I would rather have you yell at me then act as though I don't exist. At least I know you still care about me when you yell. When you are silent its as though I'm out of your life forever. I would try to make an effort to start a conversation with you but honestly I don't know what to say. I want to go back to how everything was before things were said and people changed. I want to be the person you come and talk to when you have a problem. I don't want to be the problem that you go and tell someone else about. I would love things to go back the way they were.

Boring Life

I need some excitement in my life.....

Song of The Day

Story of my life. :)

Let's Get This Out Of The Way

I need to make this clear to the few people that actually read my blog: what I post on here is not specifically towards anyone. I'm sorry if this has hurt anyone because what I say is not meant to. Most of the time I post when I'm the most angry. Posting helps me get out everything that I'm feeling and relaxes me. I can just write out everything that I'm feeling at that moment and instantly not feel as stressed. If you think a post is specifically about you then you need to come up and ask me. I will honestly tell you if it is and ask you if you want the post taken down. I'm not trying to play any games or start any fights over what I feel. I think it's better to post what I'm feeling rather then go and tell all of my friends that I'm angry. I will keep posting what's happening in my life but I will try not to offend anyone. Once again I'm sorry if anyone has been hurt by my posts.

Done

I'm done taking the high road.

Cedar Point After Dark

I went to Cedar Point for Halloweekends and I have to say I don't think I want to go back next year. Honestly I was glad that there were short lines for all of the roller coasters but the scare zones really freaked me out. We first went to Terror Island and I was terrified. The people were hiding everywhere and I couldn't see where I was going because there was so much fog. We actually got off the path at one point and one of the pirates kept scaring us since we were going the wrong way. I'm glad I didn't scream every time someone jumped out at us. I don't know what scared me more, the costumes and masks they were wearing or the fact I couldn't see them through all the smoke and fog.

I wasn't as scared when we went to Carn Evil. Al decided not to go in because she is terrified of clowns. Compared to Terror Island Carn Evil was a walk through the park. The one thing I didn't like about Carn Evil was how they came up in your face. They seriously would stand two inches in front of you and would not move out of the way. When someone would come up to me I would say hi I like your mask or oh my god I so saw you hiding over there but I still jumped. Usually after showing them I wasn't scared they would leave us alone. If you ever go to Halloweekends never run from the people. By running from them you show that your an easy target and then they'll keep following you around. Also never have anyone say your name. If they hear your name they'll call it out and make sure the other monsters will follow you. I have to say the highlight of my night was when Hallie told one of the monsters a joke. He came right up in her face and she's like hey wanna hear a funny joke. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have any guts. The skeleton knew we weren't scared so he walked away. I think I'll remember this night for a long time.

To Be Honest...

To be honest.....

1. i hate fake people
2. i want to find one guy who can make me laugh
3. i constantly look up at the stars and wish for the same thing
4. i wish i didn't make stupid mistakes in my life
5. i miss a friend i lost this year
6. i love listening to music
7. i am the most confused when i'm stressed out
8. i love eating raw onion
9. i want my life to not be complicated
10. i hope i can decide what i want to do with my life after high school
11. if i say i don't want to talk to you it really means i want you back in my life
12. i want to ride top thrill dragster
13. i wish all the drama that happened last year didn't exist
14. i wish i could fly like a bird
15. i get scared really easily
16. i want to be famous one day
17. i cry really easily
18. some people say i always look sad even when i'm the most happy
19. i hate ceramics because i can never get my design exactly how i want it
20. i may act tough but it's all an act

Oompa Loompas

I'm afraid of oompa loompas now.

No Instruction Manual

"This heart didn't come with instructions."

My heart and my head don't always agree. Sometimes my heart beats out my head when I make decisions and that is why some of my decisions aren't the best. People who really get a chance to know me know that it takes me awhile to open up and let my true feelings show. I've been hurt and broken down so many times that it's hard to let someone in regardless of what happened in the past. I think I'm going to have a hard time when I find that right guy because I don't know if he'll be able to break down all of the walls that I've built up over the years. Hopefully he'll have the chance to see me for who I really am.

Invisible Children

I want to help out the Invisible Children. It sounds crazy but if I had the opportunity to go to Uganda I would go in a heartbeat. I love how some people in my family don't believe in helping people in another country. They don't believe all the money we donate goes to the people of Uganda but I have more faith. If people saw what the children go through there they would open up their hearts and try to help out as much as they can. I hope that one day this 21 year war is over for good.

Back in My Life?

So today was the first time I had an actual conversation with you in seven months. Alot has changed in those seven months that you don't know about. It's strange because now I don't hate you. I don't know what changed in me but I've finally forgiven and forgotten. I'm alot happier now and I'm glad that I can have an actual conversation with you without it being awkward. I think my classes are going to be alot easier now that I've let this go. I'm not getting sucked in to what I started last year. I hope you know this.....

Why the Tears?

Was there any reason for me to start crying during my speech the other day? I hate when I cry because my face gets all red and my voice shakes. I'm a strong person so I don't like when people see me weak. I think the only reason I started crying was a combination of nerves, stress, and hearing someone else's speech and having them cry. I kept on thinking what my life would be like without my big sis and just the though brought me to tears. I hate how word spread to people that weren't even my class that I was crying because it brought unwanted attention to me. I had a few people ask me what was wrong and for fear of crying again I lied and said I was fine and nothing was wrong. I'm going to be a complete mess the day she goes to college and leaves me alone.

I Love My Friends

The best kind of friends are the ones that you share good times with. A friend who can make you laugh is worth a handful who can't. So often we walk around with the weight of the world on our shoulders. Our bodies become tense and this is a cause for most illnesses. Having humor in your life is not just a matter of a good time, it's also a matter of living longer. Often when you have a friendship that has lasted a long time you continue to share memories of humorous interactions that you shared. This may be the glue that holds the friendship together.

I love my friends!! :)

May We Never Forget

May we never forget all the people who risked their lives to save us on 9/11. We must share with future generations what happened on the day. If we forget we are letting them win.

In a Good Place

For once in my life I feel a sense of calm and relief. I feel like right now I'm in a good place. I've put behind my past battles and have discovered new friends that were there all along. I'm so excited to see what the future holds for me and all of the new friends I have made because when I put my mind to it I can accomplish anything. I know that this is going to be my year, the year I accomplish my goal of getting better grades and being calm under pressure. Since the first month has gone by I have already gained new friends, lost trust in an old friend, made peace with my past, and have looked forward to my future. It's only the first month and all of that has happened? I just know that this is my year to shine.

I'm Sick

I'm not the type of person to get sick before Labor Day so I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know if all the stress has finally caught up with me or if it's just all in my head. Whatever it is that's making me feel this way I just wish it would stop. I should be happy right now. I shouldn't be feeling like I want to just sleep for a year. I thought this year was going to be "the best year ever" but now by the way it has started, I'm seriously doubting that. It's been a month since school started and I've already lost a friend, and gotten sick. I know that my life could be a whole lot worse right now but I'm still sad and stressed. I'm so thankful to have friends in my life who know how to cheer me up because right now if I didn't have anyone I would be lost.

To Forgive Or To Not Forgive

We've both told our sides of the story. And we don't see eye to eye in what happened. You said that the ball is in my court and that it's my decision if we should still stay friends. But honestly I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should risk playing second fiddle to two girls who aren't good friends or just give up on a three year friendship. If my mom have had her way I would have already forgiven you and just forgot what happened. But since this is my life and in fact my decision I don't know if I want to be hurt again. Last year was such a hard year for me because of being bullied so now I don't know if I want to have another stressful year. I stayed up a few nights last year worried. I know that last year shouldn't have anything to do with this year and this situation but somehow I don't want a repeat of last year. I just wish things could go back to how they were.

You Prove My Point

I knew that it was true when I wrote it out: you chose them over me. I don't care how long you knew them before me but I was a much better friend then they were combined. You spent so many nights on the phone with me stressed because they were mad at you for something stupid. It didn't matter that I was tired or that I had my own problems, I stayed awake and gave you advice. Everyone could see that they put you through hell yet you stayed friends with them through it all. According to you they don't mean any of the things they say or do to you and well, that's a load of b.s. and you know it. You may think I'm harsh and judge your decisions but just wait until you make it in the real world. Compared to that I'm a nice person. Because I don't think you get how far you've pushed me. I'm so close to just giving up being friends with you so I don't feel the stress you've put me under.

I'll Show You

Do you expect me to break down and give in? Well I'll just show you how strong I am. See how far you can push me until I give up on you completely. I'm sick of being the bigger person so I'm done trying. If you were really sorry you would have made more of an effort instead of just a text. I've told you time and time again if you have the courage to come up to me or call me I will give you a chance to explain yourself. Since you didn't feel like doing that then why should I come up and talk to you. Why should I make an effort when you didn't even try. I wasn't the one who lost your trust so I have nothing to be sorry for. People can think whatever they want because honestly I'm done trying to please everyone. Last year all I wanted to do was make everyone else happy but this year all I want to do is make myself happy. This means not caring what people think about me and my decisions. All I'm going to do is enjoy my sophomore year.

Decisions, Decisions

So remember my last long post about having two strikes? Well now I have to make a decision. Do I forgive and forget or do I risk a friendship and hold a grudge? I've given her so many chances but somehow she keeps on bringing me down. Through our whole friendship I've stuck up for her when she was wrong, fought her battles, and burned bridges with people all because of her. Why do I keep giving her more chances? I don't know what to do since I'm pretty sure I'll have to make a decision tomorrow. I don't want to ruin our already breaking friendship but I don't know if I can handle the stress I'm under when we're friends. I'm constantly worried that if I tell her a secret she might slip and reveal it to someone. I shouldn't be worried about that in a normal friendship but somehow I am. I'm so lost because I don't know what to do!

Gunpowder and Lead

Listening to Miranda Lambert always undoes my stress.

Strike 2

When I tell one of my best friends something I expect it to be kept a secret unless I tell you it's okay to tell people. It doesn't matter who you're friends with besides me. If I tell you something don't tell anyone else, it's as simple as that. Seriously this is the second time she has lost my trust by doing something to hurt me. I made it clear last time that she couldn't do this to me again and what does she do no more then three months later, hurt me again. I don't know what hurts worse, having her tell people specifically what I said or knowing that she couldn't even keep a simple secret. I don't know if I'm more mad or disappointed. I'm disappointed because I thought we were getting back to how things used to be. She doesn't know how mad I am right now even though I told her I was angry. I guarantee tomorrow she'll say she's sorry and that it won't happen again but I don't know if I can be okay with it this time.

Leaving Your Family

When I think about the soccer team I had for a short time this year I think of them as a family. We all had certain roles to play and we all got along. If we lost we didn't get attitudes or get mad at each other but we talked about what we needed to work on in practice the next day. I feel sad that I left them because I wanted to be someone the new freshman could look up to. I had been in their position once before and knew what it felt like to be new and to not know your place on the team. I know they think they need me to make the team but really they don't. One person doesn't make a team no matter how good of a player. A team is made up of a group of people who get along and who want the same goal. I know I said in the beginning of summer that I wouldn't give up on soccer but I don't think I've loved the game since I played for Mentor. I don't know what happened over the past six years but I fell out of love with the game. It could have been the girls I played with or something else but I'll never know. I know for a fact that the girls are going to be fine without me but I'll always miss playing with them. Good luck this year girls and I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines!

Once a Lion always a Lion!

xoxo

Day 30

My reflection:

When I look in the mirror I see a girl. This girl has been through so much and has always fought through the hard times. She is stronger than anyone knows because she keeps her feelings inside until she is about to burst. She sticks up for the people she cares about even if that means getting into an argument. At times she feels like giving up but somehow she gets the strength to pull through. When she can't go on she finds support in the people she surrounds herself with. These people know how to pick her up and set her on the right path. Sometimes she is naive and jumps before looking. She opens her heart up to others and at times gets it broken. Through all the tears that she has shed she has not let anyone change her or make her weak.

Don't ever give up and let someone bring you down. Follow your dreams and don't be afraid to get hurt. Stop and look at the world if only for a few minutes. Be the one person your friends can count on and always be there ready to listen to them. This year work your hardest and succeed.

xoxo

Day 29

Dear Allison,

I wish I could tell you everything that happens in my life. I'm to afraid to because I don't want you to judge me. I know you say you don't care but deep down inside I know you do. It's hard to tell you what happens in my life when you hardly share what's happening yours.

Love,

Lindsay

Day 28

To my family, friends, and enemies,

With the help of all of you I have changed. I have learned to love myself for who I am and to not worry what anyone else thinks of me. I used to want to please everyone but now I've learned that I don't have to. I don't have to make someone else happy if they don't like my decision. And for learning this I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for making me stronger and push through all of the negativity that I've had in my life. At times I have wanted to give up and quit, but instead I have pushed myself to keep moving. Whenever someone has made fun of me, or has put me down I have wanted to break down right then and there. Instead I have been strong and received support from my friends and family. I'm changed and ready for life.

Love always,

Lindsay

One Of Those Days

Have you ever felt just so tired that you want to pass out right where you are? Well today has been a day like that. I'm just so tired that I don't think I can keep myself awake unless I get my second wind. It all started this morning when I had to wake up at 5 a.m. Yes FIVE in the morning! Someone had to be on the crazy pills to think that this was a good idea. I would have rather been at home sleeping then on a bus on the way to Strongsville at six in the morning when it's still dark. It was fun to be a sophomore and know what your doing then be a freshman and not know your "duties". I'll admit I rebelled when my sister told me to clean up the balls or get the water but that was only because she's my sister so I have to give her a hard time. Some of the freshman just wouldn't suck it up and do what they're told. I know that I should be nice but it's hard because I realized what we put the upperclassmen through last year. The freshmen this year are nice and if I was in their grade I could see myself being really good friends with them. If they need advice or help I'll be there because I know it's hard making that transition into high school. I hope they do good this year and we come together and win as a team.

Day 27

Dear Strangers I Play Against In Soccer,

I know we are fighting for the same thing but somehow it's more fun when we aren't afraid to talk while we play. I think it lightens the mood a little bit since soccer is somewhat stressful. I'm not afraid to say that was a good play or at the end of the game say you played really good because I know it's true. I'll admit the truth to you since I don't even know you. The next time you play against me don't be afraid to talk to me.

Lindsay

Pledge For Peace

Even before the school year starts I know that there is going to be some type of drama that happens this year. It may be over new friends vs. old friends, sophomores vs. freshmen, or just something stupid. I hate drama. People who are close to me know that I will say something if you make me angry but I don't try to start an all-out war with you. I think it's stupid to waste my time where I could be spending it on benefiting myself. If I don't like you you'll know it when I don't include you. Trust me it's not to hurt you it's so I don't say something that I'll regret. I don't want to ever get the reputation of being a bitch because then people will judge me for being something I'm not. It's better if I just avoid the people who make me angry so then I won't get in trouble for having a big mouth. If you respect me then I'll respect you but don't try to hurt any of my friends or else there will be problems. It's true when I say this but I'm a lover not a fighter. If you love me for me then I'll love you for you.

Day 26

A pinky promise.........

Wow well I haven't made a pinky promise in such a long time that I forget the last time it happened. I think the last time that I made a pinky promise it was in sixth grade when I promised my old friends that we would still be close in the years to come. I'm sorry to say that didn't happen because we grew apart.

Lindsay

Thoughts

I love driving at night because it gives me time to think. As I look out the window in the pitch black of night it all somehow calms me. In the dark I can think and just wonder. I wonder how different my life would have been if I had made a few small changes. And I wonder if the goals that I've set for this year will be achieved. Will I succeed or fall flat on my face? I know some people are afraid of failure but I embrace it. When I fail it gives me a chance to grow and learn from my mistakes. In my head, mistakes are just stepping stone to my success. If I look back on my life so far I see how much I have grown and changed. I used to be a scared little girl who was afraid but now I want to keep trying new things. I want to try it all and not stop until I succeed. I want to push myself so that I won't give up. If I give up I'm afraid I'll fall back into being that little girl. That little girl was my past but since I've grown up I don't need her anymore.

Try

Don't be afraid to jump then fall. I think it's better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all. No matter how hard I try to tell my friends this they don't seem to trust me that I'll be there. If you fall, I'll be there to catch you. No matter what happens I'll be there, waiting. I would put it all on the line to help a friend like I have in the past. All you need to do is take the first step and I'll support you. Put your heart on the line and trust that someone will be there to catch it.

"And we know it's never simple, never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me."

Day 25

I'm sad to say that I don't know who is going through the worst of times. If I knew one of my friends was going through a hard time I would be there for them. If they needed to talk I would always be there at any hour ready to talk.

Lindsay

Let's Make It Official!

I passed my temps test! I can now officially drive a car when I have one of my parents with me.

Stuck

I wish I was here relaxing rather than being stuck in Ohio.

Day 24

Dear Rachel,

I think you gave me one of my favorite memories. When sixth grade started I was miserable. I didn't have the teacher I wanted, I wasn't with my best friend, and I didn't think I would have a good year. You told me the day of open house while I was crying that we were going to have the best year possible, and I am glad to say that we did. Sixth grade was one of my favorite school years because you knew how to make it fun. My favorite memory with you was on my birthday. You, Cate, Maddie, and I stayed up until 4:30 in the morning laughing, playing weird games we made up on the spot, and just enjoying being young. I'm sad that we don't talk anymore because you were such a good friend to me.

Love always,

Lindsay

Things to Do Before I Die

I don't know what made me decide to make this list but I wanted to have come goals for the future.

1. Fall in love.
2. Make a stranger smile.
3. Get contacts.
4. Ride Top Thrill Dragster.
5. Ride a zip line through a jungle.
6. Travel to Italy.
7. Visit Bali.
8. Learn to speak a foreign language fluently.
9. Try to eat snails.
10. Stand on top of the Eiffel Tower with someone I love.
11. Be able to afford a Burberry purse.
12. Take skydiving lessons.
13. Go white water rafting.
14. Drive across the country.
15. Visit the Hawaiian islands.
16. Get along with my sister.
17. Meet a celebrity.
18. Sing on stage in front of a large crowd.
19. Win a contest.
20. Make lifelong friends.
21. Rush a sorority.
22. Follow my dreams.
23. Be a mom.
24. Take my family on vacation.
25. See the Grand Canyon.
26. Go to every continent at least once.
27. Write a song.
28. Tell someone how I really feel about them.
29. Go cliff-diving.
30. Make something useful to help the world.
31. Go to the World Cup.
32. Go to the Olympics to cheer on America.
33. Be shown on the big screen at a professional sports game.
34. Go shopping in New York City, Paris, and Milan.
35. Reconnect with any of my family overseas.
36. Be featured in a newspaper.
37. Visit the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.
38. Don't get freaked out at the sight of blood.
39. Sit front row at a concert.
40. Figure out what I want to do with my life.

Day 22

Second chances are hard to come by in my book. If you want a second chance with me then you have to regain my trust. I've been hurt in the past by people I thought I could trust with anything that my second chance for you is really your last chance with me. At this point in my life I don't feel anyone deserves a second chance with me. I'm happy with who my friends are and who I know I can't trust.

Lindsay

The Hazards of Having a Bookbag

Did you know bookbags are dangerous? I've been using one all my life and I never knew they were dangerous until NDCL told me they were. I think it's ridiculous that we aren't allowed to bring our bags into class because someone can "trip" on them. Who's going to trip on a bookbag? It's their fault if they aren't paying attention to where they're walking. NDCL is going crazy with all the new rules they're instating. Why can't they just let us be and not tell us what we can and can't do. With all the money our parents pay to give us a good education I think they would want to make NDCL a place where students want to go and learn. If I could keep all my same friends I would change to a different school because NDCL's rules are going to make it unbearable. The seniors are so lucky since they're going to be out of this crazy place next year and be put in the real world. I hope NDCL does not keep this rule because it just makes our lives more complicated.

Sabotage

Each time I tried to play the good girl

I let myself get in the way

I tried so hard to fight the bad girl

But she's here to stay

Why do people like to sabotage others? After you plot, plan, and wait for the right moment all your efforts could have been spent doing something else. I have to admit I have made plans to sabotage people but only for a good reason. For all the stuff I've been through I deserved a little revenge. I plotted for such a long time that when I got my revenge I was relieved but also a little mad. I was mad because after all the time I wasted my plan was complete in such a short time. I'm glad everything worked in my favor and I'm relieved I never have to worry about that person bothering me again. This year I'm going to try to not follow through on my plans of sabotage. No matter how much I don't like the person I'm going to keep my emotions in check and kill them with kindness.

Day 21

Dear Lydia,

I judged you the first week of school. I thought you were just some stuck-up cheerleader who didn't even want to try. I now know that I was so wrong. Your funny, you give great advice, you have great taste in music and when you try you are really smart. I'm sorry that I judged you the way I did. It was stupid and immature. The only reason I judged you was because you seemed to have everything so together. You picked up friends so fast because everyone seemed to love how funny you were. I'm glad I got to know you better because if I asked you for help I know you would be there for me.

Love you always,

Lindsay

Rap

Why are people so surprised when I tell them I love rap and hip-hop? They think I'm so strange since I'm "preppy" and usually happy. The reason I love rap and hip-hop is that it's so real. The lyrics rapped and sung are from the heart and aren't fake. You can feel the emotions unlike pop or country. If you haven't listened to rap or hip-hop yet I strongly suggest you do because it will change the way you listen to music.

Day 20

No one has really ever broke my heart. Yea I've had some of my friends go behind my back or had a bad guy experience but no one has ever hurt me so bad that my heart is broken from them. I just hope that if I ever do get my heart broken it won't bring me down for to long. I have so many friends who know how to lift me out of a bad mood that I won't stay sad for a long time. I'm so lucky that I don't bring myself down because I know alot of people who do that to themselves and it hurts to watch. I want to get them out of a slump, but you can't help when someone you care about has sank so low. Whoever breaks my heart they better be worth it.

Lindsay

Your Different Not Changed

Baby, Seasons Change But People Don't.

Such a true statement right there. People don't change. If you're a bitch your always going to be a bitch. There's nothing changing that. I know some people will say that they've changed and are different but maybe they've changed for only a little bit. They will always be the same person on the inside who have hurt you in the past. A message to anyone who has ever crossed me: watch out cause I can see right through you and I'm not afraid to show someone the real you.

Day 19

Dear -,

I hate how much I think about you. It bothers me so much since whatever we had ended badly. I know it would have never worked out but still I miss all of our late-night conversations we had. My friends who knew we talked thought I was crazy since we're so different. But, I think they were wrong. We aren't that different. We both have the same sense of humor and like similar things. It's strange, I can go through a day and then all of a sudden be reminded of something you said or did and laugh. I know you'll never read this but I miss the way you made me laugh when I was having a bad day, gave me advice when I was stressed out, and tried to make me braver. I'm changed because of you and it scares me to death how someone could do that to me. I miss you and wish you were back in my life.

Lindsay

P.S. I rode Millenium Force this year and conquered my fear because of you, so thank you.

Day 18

Dear Me,

Who do you want to be that's any different than who you are right now? At this moment I don't think I would change anything to drastic. The one thing I would like to change is the fact that I don't trust people. I want to be able to put faith in someone and to not get hurt in the process. Besides that I wouldn't want to change anything else about me.

-Lindsay

Day 17

Dear Kimberly,

You were one of my first best-friends that I had at All Saints. We were so close and did almost everything together. We had the same teacher almost every year and the two years we didn't we were still close. I miss all the time we spent together. It's hard sometimes thinking about All Saints because I think about how we should still be best friends. We spent so many years together that it seems like we threw it all away and didn't make any more effort because it was just too hard. I wish you would have come to NDCL so we could have still been close. I know you would have liked all the new friends I have made and would have also been friends with them to. I miss you so much because you were such a big part of my life.

Love always,

Lindsay

Day 16

Dear Brianna,

I wish you hadn't moved away because you were such a good friend. You left so soon that I didn't realize what kind of friend I had lost. I wish you were still here to help me and give me advice. I miss you.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 15

Dear Maddie, Cate, and Rachel,

I miss all the things we did together. We were such good friends before I changed schools. I wish we would have stayed in touch like we said we were going to because I know you would have liked all of my friends that I have now. I love how we had such different personalities but we never fought or had drama. It makes me wonder if I made the right decision because I left such a good group of friends behind while I went off to do different things and meet new people. The three of you will always have a special place in my heart because you showed me that it's okay to be myself and act a little crazy sometimes.

Love you always,

Lindsay

Day 14

Dear J,

What happened? I hardly see you anymore. I thought we would be hanging out more and being better friends but that didn't seem to happen. We did have fun anywhere we went and surprisingly your in most of the pictures on my bulletin board. So I have to ask where were you? Where were you when I was having trouble with my other friends? When I was nervous about student council elections where were you when I lost? I counted on you to be there for me because we had been such good friends and been through so much. I'm not mad that you weren't there but I wish you were. I want to make an effort this year to get things back to how they were. You may get me crazy sometimes but you were always there for me and I want to say thank you.

Lots of Love,

Lindsay

Turning Back the Clock

Do you ever wish you could slow down time? If only I could do that for just a moment it would help. I want to remember these moments in my life when I'm most happy. But I want look back and be known as someone who made a difference and helped change the world. I want to be a go-getter and follow what's in my heart. Following your heart is not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes my heart and my brain tell me different things that need to be done. Which do I follow?

Day 13

Dear A,

I wish we could go back to how things were when we first met. The fight that tore us apart was stupid and I wish I could change the day that it happened. I should have just stayed out of something that wasn't even my business. The sad thing about all of this was that I was right. You changed so much that you didn't see it yourself. I know you won't admit to any of this but it happened. I saw the change no one saw and it hurt to know that I was going to lose you as a close friend. Its not my place to judge or criticize you or what happened between us. All I want is a chance to say I'm sorry for everything I ever did.

Love,

Lindsay

Day 12

Dear L,

I told you ahead of time I was going to write this letter to you because I couldn't think of anyone else that has gone through so much with me. We've been friends maybe even best friends since I came to NDES in seventh grade. I was scared and vulnerable because I was at a new place not knowing anyone. You were one of my first new friends, you told me who everyone was and who to avoid. It kills me whenever we fight because I've known you for such a long time and I've told you so many of my secrets. I've trusted you with so much that I felt betrayed that we could even fight. At one point I felt like I should give up our friendship because I didn't want to get hurt again. We have put all of our fights in the past but I'm afraid for what the future holds. What if we can't get over our next fight? I don't want to lose you as a friend no matter what happened in the past, what happens now, or what happens in the future.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

I'm Disappointed.

I hate LeBron for leaving Cleveland. We gave him seven great years and we gave him a place to call home. Since he left Cleveland will go back to being known for having mediocre sports teams. Oh well good luck Cleveland.

Day 11

Dear Grandma,

I've never met you but I still wish you were here. I wanted you to comfort me through the hard times I've had. I wanted you to be there for me when I graduated from elementary school, received confirmation, and on all of the birthdays I had. You would have changed my life Grandma. Holidays would have been different at the Griesmer household with you here and our family would have been closer then we have ever been. I have always wanted to hear your laugh and see you smile. From what my mom tells me you knew how to make anyone smile even if they felt down. I've heard all the crazy things the kids put you through and I know you would have loved to see all of your grandchildren grown up. I'll see you one day Grandma but until then I'll always be listening for the pretty girl bird. I love and miss you Grandma.

Love,

Lindsay

Day 10

Dear C,

Why don't we talk more? At the beginning of the year we were super tight. Yea we didn't have any classes together but we made it through. I remember in seventh grade you hated me because you thought I was "stealing your best friend". I would never do that but, we put aside our differences and got to know each other last year. We became really close and now we act like strangers sometimes. I miss all the good times we had before we grew apart. I miss you.

Love you always,

Lindsay

Day 9

Dear Future Me,

I wish I could see what I'm like in the future. Will I be happy with the decisions I've already made? Or will I have some regrets that could have changed my life? Could you give me advice to avoid some heartbreak, drama, and regret? I wish I could see what I'm doing with my life. Will you not make decisions that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Lots of Love,

Lindsay

Control.

Usually I have control over what's happening in my life. But right now, at this moment it doesn't feel like I have any control. I haven't felt this way in a long time. It's a strange feeling and I don't like it, not one bit. My definition of control is having a choice in what's happening with my life. I want to stop time for just for a few minutes and stop everything that's been building and bubbling underneath. I want to go back to how things were when I was a little kid. Everything was simpler then. There weren't that many decisions I had to make. I think the hardest decision I had to make was what my favorite color was or what kind of ice cream I was going to eat. But now, seeing how much life has changed makes me a little scared. I'm scared for for what the future holds. I don't want my life to change like it will in one year. Al is leaving in one year which will change everything. I don't even know how I got on the topic of how much my life is going to change when Al is gone at college. It's funny how random thoughts pop into my head when I wasn't even going to write about them. I just want life to be simpler then it feels right now.

Day 8

Dear B,

The only thing we have in common is the fact that we both love to annoy Maura Dempsey.

Lindsay

Day 7

Dear D,

I am glad it only lasted a few months. We grew apart and it wouldn't have worked out after switching schools. What I didn't know then was how immature you would become. You hurt me in a way I didn't think possible and because of this I don't want to have anything to do with you. Some people might say that in time everything is forgiven, but I don't think I can get over the pain you caused me. My friends were always there for me and helped me get through everything you caused. I hope you have better luck in the future and I can guarantee that I won't be mean to you.

Goodbye forever,

Lindsay

Day 6

Dear Stranger,

Hi, my name is Lindsay Christina Alena G. I'm a sophomore at NDCL and I play soccer. I have an older sister named Allison and she's a senior who is one of my best friends. I don't like fakers, backstabbers, or mean girls. Anyone who is like this needs to stay away from me cause we might have a problem and I won't be afraid to tell you. Some people I have problems with respect that I am upfront and that I won't act fake around them. If you don't mess with me or my friends then I won't have a problem with you. I will always stick up for my friends even if they are wrong and are the ones to cause the drama. I love to listen to my Ipod 24/7 because I have certain songs for certain moods. I always have the latest music and I love to listen to new songs before they become popular. My favorite kind of music is rap and I like to try to rap when I'm in the car with Al on the way to school. I am always happy when it's raining, I love to listen to thunderstorms before I go to sleep, and I love to try new things. When you first meet me I might act quiet and shy but that's because I don't want to mess up and make myself look stupid. However, once you get to meet me I'm very energetic, outgoing, social, and adventurous. Some of my friends might call me crazy but really I'm just being myself. If you read all the way through this then you know alot more then most people know about me. The next time you see me don't judge me based upon what I look like, who my friends are, or who my sister is, but base it upon what you know about me.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 5

Dear Dreams,

I promise I won't give up on you as long as you don't give up on me. My dream is to make a difference in the world. It might seem like a crazy idea but I'm a dreamer hoping for a difference. If the only difference I make is putting a smile on a stranger's face, then I'll accept it. I don't want anyone telling me that I can't achieve my dreams. I can and I will no matter what the obstacle. No matter how hard I have to work I will get there. Dreams will you not make a dreamer out of me?

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 4

Dear Al,

Your funny, beautiful, smart, amazing, but most importantly your my sister. We annoy each other to death, fight until mom stops us, and argue like theres no tomorrow but secretly we need each other. The world's a messed up place and without you walking by my side I would be lost. I may not tell you everything right away but that's because I don't want you to see me as your younger sister looking for help. I want to be the strong one, the one who you can always count on to be there for you. It makes me jealous sometimes how differently you act around my friends. You seem to like them more then me and you want them to be your sister instead of me. It may not seem this way to you but its how I see it. I have to work twice as hard to get your attention while my friends seem to get it so easily. I'm always looking for your approval. It may seem funny but you always just seem be so confident in everything you do. In school you're taking honors classes and getting almost straight A's. At American Eagle you're climbing up the ladder of success. I want to be like you when I get a little older. You are my inspiration to do better and achieve more. No matter what you do you will always be my inspiration.

Lots of love,

your baby sis

Day 3

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you guys so much. You are the greatest parents anyone could have. You guys have always been there to help me deal with school, my friends, and drama. As a child I think I never went to sleep because I just wanted more time with both of you, time I couldn't have during the day. Allison was always in the spotlight and I didn't get alot of attention with her around. Since I'm growing up I need you now more then ever before. I can hardly make a decision normally but with Allison going off to college I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no idea what I'm good at and I don't want to make the wrong choice. I may drive you crazy sometimes but I love you with all my heart.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 2

Dear Crush,

Why can't I seem to find you? I've been looking for awhile now and can't seem to find the right person. When I find you will you not break my heart? I'll give you a chance if you give me one.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 1

Dear Maura, Kaitlin, Lauren, and Alex.

This first letter is supposed to be only to one person but I feel that right now I'm closest to the four of you. The four of you are my wolf pack, the girls I can go to and tell anything that's on my mind. We are all so different but somehow we seem to click and get along. You guys are there for me and seem to know how to cheer me up on a bad day.

Maura, you were one of my first "new friends" as I came to NDCL. I feel that I can tell you a secret and be confident that you won't tell a single person. We didn't have any classes together but we managed to be good friends. If you hadn't been there for me when drama went down during the year I would be lost.

Kaitlin, I've known you since seventh grade when I came to NDES but I never felt that we were close until this year. You know how to make me laugh when it's been one of those days where I can't seem to put a smile on my face. I know that no matter what you will always be there for me and stand by me.

Lauren, you are one of the smartest people I know and if it hadn't been for science with Teeples I would have never gotten to know you as well as I did. In the beginning of the year I don't think you liked me that much but after working together on our science project we became good friends. I still laugh when I hear about the conversations you have with my sister and all of the stories you seem to have about volleyball.

Alex, I haven't known you for that long but we have already shared some laughs. You've been across from my locker the whole year but I never actually knew who you were until I went home with Lauren. You have been a really good friend this year and I know that we are going to be good friends.

Girls, I know that there are alot more memories to come not only this summer but this year. Stay classy my girls, stay classy.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

30 Letters

So as I was on Al's tumblr I saw that she was writing a letter. One letter a day to a different person. This intrigued me so I decided to do the same thing she was.

Instructions: You write a letter each day to the following:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

My 30 day journey is going to start.

World Cup '10

I'm so excited that USA advanced today. It has been such a long since I last watched soccer on TV. The last time I watched the World Cup was when I was at soccer camp. All of the girls gathered in one of the basements and watched the World Cup Finals. We were watching the final game between Italy and France and we were just stunned when Zidane head-butted a player on the Italian team. There was no reason why Zidane should have head-butted the other player so he received a red card. In the world of women's soccer you normally don't see such violence. After spending a week with girls from all over that I had hardly known it felt good that we had experienced this once in a lifetime game. Soccer is the type of sport where you can take your anger out on a player you don't even know and usually get away with it. I love watching soccer and hope that the USA can come out on top! This is my life moving at the Speed of Sound.

Stronger Than Last Year

Work it harder make it better,

do it faster makes us stronger,

more than ever, hour after

hour work is never over

Soccer season is coming up and I'm not excited. I'm not excited to play with coaches that I don't like. I'm not excited to kill myself in the heat, and the cold. And I'm not excited to work for something that is out of reach. I do however want to win this year. After seeing us play last year I have never felt the need to win before. I want our team to become stronger, closer, and better. No matter how much I don't want to play I will try to push the new players to make them better. This is life moving at the Speed of Sound.

Changes

Today I realized how much my life has changed over the last couple of months. At the beginning of freshman year my hair was a hot mess, my sister was known by all of the freshman, and I didn't like meeting new people. Now that summer is finally here I've figured out so much. I now love meeting new people. Cause I never know when a new friend is going to show up in my life. For that, I have my "wolf pack" to thank. I absolutely love these girls, because they make me laugh, they know how to cheer me up, and everyone gets along. We are all so different but somehow we just click. There's no drama when the five of us are together. I sometimes miss the simple days of middle school but I'm glad to have more freedom and more friends.

This is my Life Moving at the Speed of Sound.

Memories and Regrets

As the school year is coming to a close I have many memories and regrets. My favorite memory this year is meeting all of the new people. I never knew one school, one grade could have so many people with so many different personalities. These people are all different, unique in their own special way. Shouldn't so many different personalities clash with each other? Somehow we all don't, we don't fight but understand each other's differences. I have have made many new friends this year and I've kept all or most of my old ones. My friends have always cheered me up, made me laugh, and spent everyday making memories with me. I'm sad people are leaving but according to some quote I found, "some people only pass through your life while others make a lasting impression on you". Even with all of these memories I've made I do have some regrets. I regret not giving it my all and trying my hardest. I regret not getting to know some of my classmates. I regret wasting time on stupid drama that made my life more complicated. But with all my regrets I still believe I had an amazing year. Looking back I know I've made memories that will last me a lifetime.

Love and Rockets,

Lindsay

Some Many Questions for One Week

Isn't this supposed to be a peaceful time in my life? Aren't i supposed to be having fun and relaxing? Then why am i stressed? Exams are coming up in the next week and i don't think i'm going to do well. These exams will make or break some of my grades. Oh yea did i also mention that guys stress me out? If a guy flirts with you and you flirt back doesn't it mean he likes you? I thought that was the rule but if things have changed will someone please tell me. This is my life moving at the Speed of Sound.

Losing is the Worst Feeling

Why do people get the one thing that i want? This is the second time in two weeks that I've lost. I can't handle any more losses or else i may just go insane. My two friends that i pushed to run won instead of me. How is this fair? I love them to death but how is this fair to me? I want to be involved in school but i can't seem to get a break. I don't think I'll run next year because I'm afraid of losing. I don't like the feeling of losing. It feels like someone kicked me in the stomach and it doesn't feel to good. I know i can relay on my friends to get me through this cause I'm in a slump. I just need this school year to be over so i can relax and focus on enjoying life. This is my life moving at the Speed of Sound.

Can't be Tamed, Changed, or Rearranged

While listening to my Ipod today i started thinking........why do people want to change me? Am i not "perfect"? Some people need to realize that i change for no one. If you like me fine. If not then don't waste your time trying to put me down. I'm stronger then most people think. I may feel down at times but I brush the dirt off and get right back up. As the school year is coming to an end I've realized that i can't please everyone and it's okay if i lose. When I lose and get hurt it teaches me to lean on the people that matter most and to weed out the people who aren't there for me. I don't need the fakers, the backstabbers, or the phonies. Those people don't need to be in my life. I hope that sophomore year goes more smoothly then this year did, with no drama, no issues, just pure bliss. I'm not hoping for perfection just pure fun. This is my life, moving at the speed of sound.