Control.

Usually I have control over what's happening in my life. But right now, at this moment it doesn't feel like I have any control. I haven't felt this way in a long time. It's a strange feeling and I don't like it, not one bit. My definition of control is having a choice in what's happening with my life. I want to stop time for just for a few minutes and stop everything that's been building and bubbling underneath. I want to go back to how things were when I was a little kid. Everything was simpler then. There weren't that many decisions I had to make. I think the hardest decision I had to make was what my favorite color was or what kind of ice cream I was going to eat. But now, seeing how much life has changed makes me a little scared. I'm scared for for what the future holds. I don't want my life to change like it will in one year. Al is leaving in one year which will change everything. I don't even know how I got on the topic of how much my life is going to change when Al is gone at college. It's funny how random thoughts pop into my head when I wasn't even going to write about them. I just want life to be simpler then it feels right now.