Things to Do Before I Die

I don't know what made me decide to make this list but I wanted to have come goals for the future.

1. Fall in love.
2. Make a stranger smile.
3. Get contacts.
4. Ride Top Thrill Dragster.
5. Ride a zip line through a jungle.
6. Travel to Italy.
7. Visit Bali.
8. Learn to speak a foreign language fluently.
9. Try to eat snails.
10. Stand on top of the Eiffel Tower with someone I love.
11. Be able to afford a Burberry purse.
12. Take skydiving lessons.
13. Go white water rafting.
14. Drive across the country.
15. Visit the Hawaiian islands.
16. Get along with my sister.
17. Meet a celebrity.
18. Sing on stage in front of a large crowd.
19. Win a contest.
20. Make lifelong friends.
21. Rush a sorority.
22. Follow my dreams.
23. Be a mom.
24. Take my family on vacation.
25. See the Grand Canyon.
26. Go to every continent at least once.
27. Write a song.
28. Tell someone how I really feel about them.
29. Go cliff-diving.
30. Make something useful to help the world.
31. Go to the World Cup.
32. Go to the Olympics to cheer on America.
33. Be shown on the big screen at a professional sports game.
34. Go shopping in New York City, Paris, and Milan.
35. Reconnect with any of my family overseas.
36. Be featured in a newspaper.
37. Visit the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.
38. Don't get freaked out at the sight of blood.
39. Sit front row at a concert.
40. Figure out what I want to do with my life.

Day 22

Second chances are hard to come by in my book. If you want a second chance with me then you have to regain my trust. I've been hurt in the past by people I thought I could trust with anything that my second chance for you is really your last chance with me. At this point in my life I don't feel anyone deserves a second chance with me. I'm happy with who my friends are and who I know I can't trust.

Lindsay

The Hazards of Having a Bookbag

Did you know bookbags are dangerous? I've been using one all my life and I never knew they were dangerous until NDCL told me they were. I think it's ridiculous that we aren't allowed to bring our bags into class because someone can "trip" on them. Who's going to trip on a bookbag? It's their fault if they aren't paying attention to where they're walking. NDCL is going crazy with all the new rules they're instating. Why can't they just let us be and not tell us what we can and can't do. With all the money our parents pay to give us a good education I think they would want to make NDCL a place where students want to go and learn. If I could keep all my same friends I would change to a different school because NDCL's rules are going to make it unbearable. The seniors are so lucky since they're going to be out of this crazy place next year and be put in the real world. I hope NDCL does not keep this rule because it just makes our lives more complicated.

Sabotage

Each time I tried to play the good girl

I let myself get in the way

I tried so hard to fight the bad girl

But she's here to stay

Why do people like to sabotage others? After you plot, plan, and wait for the right moment all your efforts could have been spent doing something else. I have to admit I have made plans to sabotage people but only for a good reason. For all the stuff I've been through I deserved a little revenge. I plotted for such a long time that when I got my revenge I was relieved but also a little mad. I was mad because after all the time I wasted my plan was complete in such a short time. I'm glad everything worked in my favor and I'm relieved I never have to worry about that person bothering me again. This year I'm going to try to not follow through on my plans of sabotage. No matter how much I don't like the person I'm going to keep my emotions in check and kill them with kindness.

Day 21

Dear Lydia,

I judged you the first week of school. I thought you were just some stuck-up cheerleader who didn't even want to try. I now know that I was so wrong. Your funny, you give great advice, you have great taste in music and when you try you are really smart. I'm sorry that I judged you the way I did. It was stupid and immature. The only reason I judged you was because you seemed to have everything so together. You picked up friends so fast because everyone seemed to love how funny you were. I'm glad I got to know you better because if I asked you for help I know you would be there for me.

Love you always,

Lindsay

Rap

Why are people so surprised when I tell them I love rap and hip-hop? They think I'm so strange since I'm "preppy" and usually happy. The reason I love rap and hip-hop is that it's so real. The lyrics rapped and sung are from the heart and aren't fake. You can feel the emotions unlike pop or country. If you haven't listened to rap or hip-hop yet I strongly suggest you do because it will change the way you listen to music.

Day 20

No one has really ever broke my heart. Yea I've had some of my friends go behind my back or had a bad guy experience but no one has ever hurt me so bad that my heart is broken from them. I just hope that if I ever do get my heart broken it won't bring me down for to long. I have so many friends who know how to lift me out of a bad mood that I won't stay sad for a long time. I'm so lucky that I don't bring myself down because I know alot of people who do that to themselves and it hurts to watch. I want to get them out of a slump, but you can't help when someone you care about has sank so low. Whoever breaks my heart they better be worth it.

Lindsay

Your Different Not Changed

Baby, Seasons Change But People Don't.

Such a true statement right there. People don't change. If you're a bitch your always going to be a bitch. There's nothing changing that. I know some people will say that they've changed and are different but maybe they've changed for only a little bit. They will always be the same person on the inside who have hurt you in the past. A message to anyone who has ever crossed me: watch out cause I can see right through you and I'm not afraid to show someone the real you.

Day 19

Dear -,

I hate how much I think about you. It bothers me so much since whatever we had ended badly. I know it would have never worked out but still I miss all of our late-night conversations we had. My friends who knew we talked thought I was crazy since we're so different. But, I think they were wrong. We aren't that different. We both have the same sense of humor and like similar things. It's strange, I can go through a day and then all of a sudden be reminded of something you said or did and laugh. I know you'll never read this but I miss the way you made me laugh when I was having a bad day, gave me advice when I was stressed out, and tried to make me braver. I'm changed because of you and it scares me to death how someone could do that to me. I miss you and wish you were back in my life.

Lindsay

P.S. I rode Millenium Force this year and conquered my fear because of you, so thank you.

Day 18

Dear Me,

Who do you want to be that's any different than who you are right now? At this moment I don't think I would change anything to drastic. The one thing I would like to change is the fact that I don't trust people. I want to be able to put faith in someone and to not get hurt in the process. Besides that I wouldn't want to change anything else about me.

-Lindsay

Day 17

Dear Kimberly,

You were one of my first best-friends that I had at All Saints. We were so close and did almost everything together. We had the same teacher almost every year and the two years we didn't we were still close. I miss all the time we spent together. It's hard sometimes thinking about All Saints because I think about how we should still be best friends. We spent so many years together that it seems like we threw it all away and didn't make any more effort because it was just too hard. I wish you would have come to NDCL so we could have still been close. I know you would have liked all the new friends I have made and would have also been friends with them to. I miss you so much because you were such a big part of my life.

Love always,

Lindsay

Day 16

Dear Brianna,

I wish you hadn't moved away because you were such a good friend. You left so soon that I didn't realize what kind of friend I had lost. I wish you were still here to help me and give me advice. I miss you.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 15

Dear Maddie, Cate, and Rachel,

I miss all the things we did together. We were such good friends before I changed schools. I wish we would have stayed in touch like we said we were going to because I know you would have liked all of my friends that I have now. I love how we had such different personalities but we never fought or had drama. It makes me wonder if I made the right decision because I left such a good group of friends behind while I went off to do different things and meet new people. The three of you will always have a special place in my heart because you showed me that it's okay to be myself and act a little crazy sometimes.

Love you always,

Lindsay

Day 14

Dear J,

What happened? I hardly see you anymore. I thought we would be hanging out more and being better friends but that didn't seem to happen. We did have fun anywhere we went and surprisingly your in most of the pictures on my bulletin board. So I have to ask where were you? Where were you when I was having trouble with my other friends? When I was nervous about student council elections where were you when I lost? I counted on you to be there for me because we had been such good friends and been through so much. I'm not mad that you weren't there but I wish you were. I want to make an effort this year to get things back to how they were. You may get me crazy sometimes but you were always there for me and I want to say thank you.

Lots of Love,

Lindsay

Turning Back the Clock

Do you ever wish you could slow down time? If only I could do that for just a moment it would help. I want to remember these moments in my life when I'm most happy. But I want look back and be known as someone who made a difference and helped change the world. I want to be a go-getter and follow what's in my heart. Following your heart is not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes my heart and my brain tell me different things that need to be done. Which do I follow?

Day 13

Dear A,

I wish we could go back to how things were when we first met. The fight that tore us apart was stupid and I wish I could change the day that it happened. I should have just stayed out of something that wasn't even my business. The sad thing about all of this was that I was right. You changed so much that you didn't see it yourself. I know you won't admit to any of this but it happened. I saw the change no one saw and it hurt to know that I was going to lose you as a close friend. Its not my place to judge or criticize you or what happened between us. All I want is a chance to say I'm sorry for everything I ever did.

Love,

Lindsay

Day 12

Dear L,

I told you ahead of time I was going to write this letter to you because I couldn't think of anyone else that has gone through so much with me. We've been friends maybe even best friends since I came to NDES in seventh grade. I was scared and vulnerable because I was at a new place not knowing anyone. You were one of my first new friends, you told me who everyone was and who to avoid. It kills me whenever we fight because I've known you for such a long time and I've told you so many of my secrets. I've trusted you with so much that I felt betrayed that we could even fight. At one point I felt like I should give up our friendship because I didn't want to get hurt again. We have put all of our fights in the past but I'm afraid for what the future holds. What if we can't get over our next fight? I don't want to lose you as a friend no matter what happened in the past, what happens now, or what happens in the future.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

I'm Disappointed.

I hate LeBron for leaving Cleveland. We gave him seven great years and we gave him a place to call home. Since he left Cleveland will go back to being known for having mediocre sports teams. Oh well good luck Cleveland.

Day 11

Dear Grandma,

I've never met you but I still wish you were here. I wanted you to comfort me through the hard times I've had. I wanted you to be there for me when I graduated from elementary school, received confirmation, and on all of the birthdays I had. You would have changed my life Grandma. Holidays would have been different at the Griesmer household with you here and our family would have been closer then we have ever been. I have always wanted to hear your laugh and see you smile. From what my mom tells me you knew how to make anyone smile even if they felt down. I've heard all the crazy things the kids put you through and I know you would have loved to see all of your grandchildren grown up. I'll see you one day Grandma but until then I'll always be listening for the pretty girl bird. I love and miss you Grandma.

Love,

Lindsay

Day 10

Dear C,

Why don't we talk more? At the beginning of the year we were super tight. Yea we didn't have any classes together but we made it through. I remember in seventh grade you hated me because you thought I was "stealing your best friend". I would never do that but, we put aside our differences and got to know each other last year. We became really close and now we act like strangers sometimes. I miss all the good times we had before we grew apart. I miss you.

Love you always,

Lindsay

Day 9

Dear Future Me,

I wish I could see what I'm like in the future. Will I be happy with the decisions I've already made? Or will I have some regrets that could have changed my life? Could you give me advice to avoid some heartbreak, drama, and regret? I wish I could see what I'm doing with my life. Will you not make decisions that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Lots of Love,

Lindsay

Control.

Usually I have control over what's happening in my life. But right now, at this moment it doesn't feel like I have any control. I haven't felt this way in a long time. It's a strange feeling and I don't like it, not one bit. My definition of control is having a choice in what's happening with my life. I want to stop time for just for a few minutes and stop everything that's been building and bubbling underneath. I want to go back to how things were when I was a little kid. Everything was simpler then. There weren't that many decisions I had to make. I think the hardest decision I had to make was what my favorite color was or what kind of ice cream I was going to eat. But now, seeing how much life has changed makes me a little scared. I'm scared for for what the future holds. I don't want my life to change like it will in one year. Al is leaving in one year which will change everything. I don't even know how I got on the topic of how much my life is going to change when Al is gone at college. It's funny how random thoughts pop into my head when I wasn't even going to write about them. I just want life to be simpler then it feels right now.

Day 8

Dear B,

The only thing we have in common is the fact that we both love to annoy Maura Dempsey.

Lindsay

Day 7

Dear D,

I am glad it only lasted a few months. We grew apart and it wouldn't have worked out after switching schools. What I didn't know then was how immature you would become. You hurt me in a way I didn't think possible and because of this I don't want to have anything to do with you. Some people might say that in time everything is forgiven, but I don't think I can get over the pain you caused me. My friends were always there for me and helped me get through everything you caused. I hope you have better luck in the future and I can guarantee that I won't be mean to you.

Goodbye forever,

Lindsay

Day 6

Dear Stranger,

Hi, my name is Lindsay Christina Alena G. I'm a sophomore at NDCL and I play soccer. I have an older sister named Allison and she's a senior who is one of my best friends. I don't like fakers, backstabbers, or mean girls. Anyone who is like this needs to stay away from me cause we might have a problem and I won't be afraid to tell you. Some people I have problems with respect that I am upfront and that I won't act fake around them. If you don't mess with me or my friends then I won't have a problem with you. I will always stick up for my friends even if they are wrong and are the ones to cause the drama. I love to listen to my Ipod 24/7 because I have certain songs for certain moods. I always have the latest music and I love to listen to new songs before they become popular. My favorite kind of music is rap and I like to try to rap when I'm in the car with Al on the way to school. I am always happy when it's raining, I love to listen to thunderstorms before I go to sleep, and I love to try new things. When you first meet me I might act quiet and shy but that's because I don't want to mess up and make myself look stupid. However, once you get to meet me I'm very energetic, outgoing, social, and adventurous. Some of my friends might call me crazy but really I'm just being myself. If you read all the way through this then you know alot more then most people know about me. The next time you see me don't judge me based upon what I look like, who my friends are, or who my sister is, but base it upon what you know about me.

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 5

Dear Dreams,

I promise I won't give up on you as long as you don't give up on me. My dream is to make a difference in the world. It might seem like a crazy idea but I'm a dreamer hoping for a difference. If the only difference I make is putting a smile on a stranger's face, then I'll accept it. I don't want anyone telling me that I can't achieve my dreams. I can and I will no matter what the obstacle. No matter how hard I have to work I will get there. Dreams will you not make a dreamer out of me?

Lots of love,

Lindsay

Day 4

Dear Al,

Your funny, beautiful, smart, amazing, but most importantly your my sister. We annoy each other to death, fight until mom stops us, and argue like theres no tomorrow but secretly we need each other. The world's a messed up place and without you walking by my side I would be lost. I may not tell you everything right away but that's because I don't want you to see me as your younger sister looking for help. I want to be the strong one, the one who you can always count on to be there for you. It makes me jealous sometimes how differently you act around my friends. You seem to like them more then me and you want them to be your sister instead of me. It may not seem this way to you but its how I see it. I have to work twice as hard to get your attention while my friends seem to get it so easily. I'm always looking for your approval. It may seem funny but you always just seem be so confident in everything you do. In school you're taking honors classes and getting almost straight A's. At American Eagle you're climbing up the ladder of success. I want to be like you when I get a little older. You are my inspiration to do better and achieve more. No matter what you do you will always be my inspiration.

Lots of love,

your baby sis

Day 3

Dear Mom and Dad,

I love you guys so much. You are the greatest parents anyone could have. You guys have always been there to help me deal with school, my friends, and drama. As a child I think I never went to sleep because I just wanted more time with both of you, time I couldn't have during the day. Allison was always in the spotlight and I didn't get alot of attention with her around. Since I'm growing up I need you now more then ever before. I can hardly make a decision normally but with Allison going off to college I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no idea what I'm good at and I don't want to make the wrong choice. I may drive you crazy sometimes but I love you with all my heart.

Lots of love,

Lindsay